Too powerful not to reblog… For all those people who have faught, or are still fighting. Who got through it, or who didn’t. Reblog it for them.
The worst part about this whole situation is that everyone else can see the reasons why this whole thing is unhealthy, I can too, but for some unknown and deeply hidden reason I cant help myself. I mean, its not just about the sex, I can deal without that although it is great while it lasts. Its not the emotional security, because to be honest, there is none. There never really has been. I’m starting to think that its because I’m an emotional hoarder. You know, like those people who never throw anything away because they’re scared to. It isn’t even like it’s because I’m scared that one day I’ll desperately need that purple dinosaur, or that crumpled piece of paper in the corner, it just because I’m scared. So here I am, sitting in bed crying for the millionth time for the same reason, and I cant figure out why I don’t just say fuck it, fuck you, and walk away. I wish I could, because then maybe I could address it and get out of this hole it feels like I’m in and start to breathe normally again. I mean, lets look at this logically. I stayed once. I regret it. The relationship didn’t work out and now I’m stuck here wishing that I was one of those girls on the television playing volleyball at some university in the states, like I know I should be. So here I am, wishing I was somewhere else, wishing I was someone else and I still cant shake this overwhelming feeling of wanting to stay here because of one person, a person who doesn’t even really care whether I go or stay. I mean sure, he would think it was more convenient If i stayed, because then he could have sex without having to put in any vast amount of effort anytime he wanted. Other than that though, he could really care less, because he can go out and find any suitable replacement that he wants. I wish that wasn’t the case, but it is. So again, why do I feel like I need to stay because of him?
